Diary of an Outsider
by I Make Bad Puns
Summary: This is a set of diary entries following one of my Skyrim characters, a female Bosmer named Eira Bowmaster. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this, but I feel like Eira might form strong friendships (maybe more) with Lydia, Aela and a couple more characters. We'll just have to see where this goes. Rated T, might change back to M if it gets too violent.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Hey guys, due to popular demand I'm re-releasing an amended version of both Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. The biggest change is the spacing, hopefully making it easier for you guys to read and I've also taking most of the cursing out of Chapter 1, since it felt unnatural and didn't really fit. Hope you guys like this and keep reading and please, don't neglect that review button, it's feeling kinda lonely.**

Diary of an Outsider

_Middas the 20th of Last Seed_

Hey. This feels slightly weird, almost like I'm talking to myself. But I'm not talking to myself,

I'm talking to you. Technically I'm not even talking but since I'm repeating everything I write

in my head. That reminds me, I should give you a name. 'Diary' sounds too boring. How

about 'My Thoughts, Feelings and Experiences Projected Into Written Form'? Yeah that

one's a bit too long. I'll come up with a good one soon, don't worry. Oh look at that,

sidetracked already. I should really explain who I am. My name is Eira Bowmaster and I'm a

Wood Elf from Valenwood. Bowmaster isn't really part of my name, it was given to me by

my clan elders after I showed 'complete mastery over all forms of the bow'. I'm what you

might call a local legend. I decided to come to Skyrim because I wanted to see somewhere

new, to start a new life. The 'purifying' that the Aldmeri Dominion are doing might have

something to do with it as well. Everyone else seems to be ignoring it. Even the elders just

sigh and say "It's all for the best". Screw that. So that's why I was crossing the border. And

also why I got knocked out, tied up and thrown in a cart. Some welcome huh? It turned out

some Imperials had set an ambush for someone who was apparently the leader of some

random rebellion (Ulfric Raincape?) and me walking 'interrupting a dangerous military

operation'. So I woke up some people said some stuff (I apologise for not remembering but

I'm fairly certain whatever was said was insignificant compared to what happened next. Also

my head was hurting) and were about to chop my head off when a dragon attacked. Let me

stop there for a minute. A dragon. _A WAS A FREAKING DRAGON! _Holy shit

no wonder I'm going crazy and talking to myself. Sorry, just needed to get that out of my

system. Long story short, a nice guy named Hadvar helped me escape past some spiders

(those things are fucking creepy) and got me to a small village called Riverwood. So here I

am. In Riverwood. Well, I suppose there are worse places I could be. The first thing I did

when I got here was get a new bow. I felt naked without one, and we both know that me

naked is a sight nobody wants. I got a new one of Alvor, the local blacksmith (he's also

Hadvar's uncle) although I doubt it be called a bow. He only had two, both made of wood (of

all things). Both were sorry affairs - a long bow and a smaller reflex bow. I'm pretty sure I

would've been better off throwing arrows at my opponents but I took the relfex one

anyway. Alvor had the gall to call it a 'hunting bow'. _A hunting bow. _I almost started a rant

on how proper hunting bows were made from shaped animal bones and that if Longshot

(my old bow, made from the bones of a giant troll) was still alive, he would eat these

pathetic lumps of wood for breakfast and still be hungry and that he should just watch me

kill that dragon, make a bow out of its bones then stick it up his ass. Almost. And yes, I name

my bows. Only my favourite ones. Like Longshot. He was amazing. I would have married him

and given him children if he wasn't so cruelly taken away from me when I got caught in the

ambush. I can still picture his broken form lying on the floor like a discarded toy. I'll admit it,

I cried. And then vowed bloody vengenance on the people that broke him. Nothing

personal. Anyhoo, a local merhant had had a golden claw stolen from him so I'm off to

retrieve it, first thing tomorrow. His sister, Camilla, was the one that convinced me to start

writing you, as a way to retain what was left of my sanity, but between you and me, I don't

think it's working. Oh, I also met a brother-Elf named Faendal. He's kinda cute but only has

eyes for Camilla for some reason (she's alright but nothing to get excited over). He's coming

with me tomorrow, so that should be fun. I should probably get some sleep now, long day

ahead and all that, so I guess I'll see you when I get back.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Hey guys, IMBP here. This is the first story I've ever written. Everyone has to start somewhere right? But regardless of how many I may write, everyone needs reviews in order to improve. So far out of my 8 views, only 1 person has reviewed it (thank you distant-echoes), which is alright I suppose but more is always better. I would prefer if it was all constructive criticism, but I'm not gonna cry over something like "Your story sucks". Anyhoo, I'm probably boring you by now so here's Chapter 2. If you like it, please Follow/Favourite.**

_Sundas the 24th of Last Seed_

Hey You. That's what I've decided to call you. Imagination isn't my strong point. Quite a lot of

stuff happened in the four days I've been away. I still can't believe it was only four days. Bleak

Falls Barrow took a whole day. It was kinda boring, so I won't bother telling you about it. You

wouldn't like it. Except for the time I almost got my head bitten off by a giant spider. That

wasn't fun. That was also when I decided to stop running straight into large rooms without

checking for danger so I don't end up running straight back out crying hysterically while an

eight-legged monstronsity chases me. Also, I thought the spiders I encountered when Hadvar

and I were escaping Helgen were abnormally large but according to Faendal, you remember

Faendal right? The cute one that apparently can't look any girl except Camilla in the face. As

well as not being able to look at me properly, he only calls me 'Sister-Elf' which was slightly

amusing the first few times but after that I stopped every hour or so to remind him that I had a

name and that I would being very grateful if he used it. He still didn't though. Anyhoo, according

to him the ones I saw in the cave were normal sized and the one we fought in Bleak Falls was

one of the bigger ones. I almost left for Valenwood right then but he insisted that I at least get

the claw back to Camilla and her brother (I can never remember his name, Lucian or

something). Maybe the spiders are punishment for me abandoning my clan. Perhaps Lorkhan

was bored and thought to himself "You know what might be fun? Screwing this Elf in particular.

She's done nothing wrong, nothing major anyway, and I think it'll be amusing watching her piss

herself while she runs for her life from a creature from the deepest planes of Oblivion".

Anywhen, Faendal ended killing the beast and helped me recover by giving me a bottle of mead.

That's some good stuff. If I do go back to Valenwood, I'll be taking a few crates with me. After

that, we cut down a guy who was stuck in a web, who then got cut down by some dragur, who

are dead-but-not-quite-dead zombie things. I took a greatsword from one of them and finally

made a full recovery after the whole spider ordeal. Who knew that swinging a heavy sword at

anything that moves is an effective form or stress relief? I had to leave it there though, it was

too heavy to be carrying around all day. That reminds me, I should probably get myself a sword

and a dagger. I'm not too fond of hand-to-hand combat, but it always helps to be prepared.

While we were travelling through the Barrow, Faendal tried to improve my archery skills. I say

tried, but it was more like he started giving me a really basic lesson while I stood there with a

bemused expression on my face. He shut up after I managed to get three good shots off while

he was still taking his first. I also pointed out that my clan elders had given me the title

'Bowmaster' which kinda suggests that I'm a master of the bow, funnily enough. Nothing else

particularly exciting happened. Found some chests with some sweet loot. There was a strange

chanting wall thing that started glowing when I walked near it. Faendal said he hadn't seen

anything like that before. When it stopped glowing, we got attacked by another dragur that

kept shouting at us. It was saying "Fus Ro Dah", and everytime it did, we went flying backwards.

That was quite annoying, and it also hurt quite a bit. It took me and Faendal sticking about ten

arrows each into thing to bring it down (it was carrying a weird stone that looked interesting,

Lucian wouldn't buy it off me though). I guess the shouting was some kind of magic that I

haven't seen before. Magic isn't that big in Valenwood. If it doesn't involve a bow then most of

us aren't interested. Despite that, I still learnt a few basic spells that are useful in a tight sopt. I

can't do anything flashing, only a few seconds worth of flames, a couple sparks and a healing

spell. Talking about spells, I found this book in an old woman's cabin that described the use of a

really powerful spell, and contained instructions on how to do it. It's called 'Lightning Storm' and

apparently it can turn living things into nothing but piles of ash. It sounded quite cool so I

decided to try my hand at it. I don't think it went well. In fact I'd rather not talk about it. Talking

about not talking about things, the old woman who owned the cabin tried to kill me and

Faendal after I took some stuff and broke into her cellar, where I found a letter basically saying

that she was a witch. When I came out, she started throwing ice spikes at me, saying " Nobody

can know my secret" or something along those lines. I tried telling her that I wouldn't tell

anyone but she kept on attacking. I only took some wine. And some gold. And a couple of

poisons. Nothing major and certainly not anything to get mad over. That's pretty much it for the

'Bleak Falls Adventure'. I gave the claw back to Lucian, who complained that it looked smaller

than he remembered (everything is about size with guys), and that was that. Guess I'll speak to

you again whenever I remember.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - You lucky, lucky people. Not only do you get updated versions of Chapter 1 and 2, but you also get a third chapter. And potentially a fourth, all in one day. No promises though, it just depends how much longer I can stay awake (thanks college, you suck). Anyway, I hope you guys and gals enjoy this. If you do, there's a handy Follow/Favourite button you can use. There's also a Review button, if you feel like telling me how I'm doing (it'll really help). See you guys next time.**

_Tirdas the 26th of Last Seed_

So, we meet again. I'm not ignoring you. I've just been busy. With stuff. And things. Important things. Like speaking to the Jarl of Whiterun. That's right, I'm important now. I should hire someone to do this for me. Then I could sell it and become really famous. And when I get really old, I'll hear someone knocking at my door and when I open it, Faendal will be standing there, asking me if I want to come on an adventure, and I'll be like "One last time.". It sounded so much more epic in my head. Anyway, you're probably wondering how I got to be speaking to the Jarl of Whiterun. In fact, you're probably wondering how I got to Whiterun in the first place. Well, I walked. That's how. End of story. Except for the part where I was running. That was my first experience with a giant. And not only that, but I was ignoring my instincts (for once) and running towards it. It looked like it was terrorising a farm or something and some people were attacking it so I ran in to see if I could help the situation. And by 'help' I mean 'hide pathetically behind a fence while everyone else is getting the ass beaten and then shoot a few arrows to make it seem like I'm doing something useful'. They managed to kill it in the end. And that's when I saw Her. She's honestly the prettiest woman I've ever had the pleasure of awkwardly standing around. And she's not even an elf. She came up to me and thanked me for my help - sorry 'help', and said something about being her companion I think. No, she was asking me to join the Companions. Unfortunately I can't pretend that I wasn't listening to everything she was saying. Her voice was magical. So magical in fact, that I forgot to ask her name before she left, but I pestered the people she'd been fighting alongside till they told me. Aela the Huntress. She can hunt me any time she likes. And now I wish I didn't write that. You best not tell anyone or I'll throw you in the fire and start a new one. I'm serious. Her armour though… I don't even think it can be classed as armor. It just covered so little, how is she not cold all the time? Anyway, after I'd finished gawking at where she'd been standing, Faendal finally caught up. Mara bless him, he doesn't seem cut out for this life. He's nice to have around but I think I've kept him from Camilla long enough. Not to mention I almost got him killed. Well, he almost got him killed, I had mostly nothing to it this time. Before we went into Whiterun, I decided I wanted to explore a little bit more, so we played a game of Hunter-Thief-Mage to decide who chooses where we go. It's a stupid game that Faendal made up but he insisted we played it. Basically you say the three names and once you've said the third one, you pick one of them by doing an action - drawing a bow for hunter, holding a dagger for thief or pretending to cast a spell for mage. According to Faendal, the hunter shoots the thief, the thief stabs the mage and the mage burns the hunter. I argued that if the hunter was any good she should be able to shoot both the other two without being seen but apparently "That's not how the game works.". I ended up winning with the hunter, which Faendal really should have seen coming if he'd been paying attention, and decided we should go west. We walked past some stables, a watchtower, a castle place with some bandits that we elected to avoid and finally came to a camp with a giant fire in the middle. Or should I say a _giant's_ fire. At least I'll never become jester. So while we were poking around the camp, the giants came back with their mammoths and were obviously quite upset about our intrusion. I took the safe option of hiding behind a rock, but Faendal had apparently been possessed and tried to take on two giants and about 3 mammoths. On the plus side, while he was getting crushed, I found a chest that had some nice stuff in. The giants left him alone after he stopped getting up and played dead, which gave me enough time to drag him out of harm's way. I spent a couple of minutes focusing a healing spell on him, after which he looked as good as new, if new had been trampled by a mammoth. Nothing particularly interesting happened after that. We finally entered Whiterun, and got up to Dragonsreach, which is where the Jarl lives. The guards in Whiterun are so annoying, I'd be walking past one, minding my own business when they'd say "What do you what, elf?". I swear, I'm gonna hit the next one who says that. Anyhow, we got into Dragonsreach and I talked to the Jarl about the dragon I saw at Helgen. Then he said some stuff, I said some stuff, his steward said some stuff, and it was all quite boring until he sent me to his wizard, Farengar, to do something for him. The something turned out to be retrieving a certain stone from Bleak Falls Barrow, a certain stone that I'd already picked up and was glad to finally be rid of (I love me sometimes). He thanked me and said that I was better than the people the Jarl usually sends, which I feel was the first compliment he'd ever given a girl (if it could be called a compliment). And then I went back into the city, found the inn, got me and Faendal a room and some drinks (separate beds, it'd be too awkward otherwise) and then sat down and started writing. I could get used to this life. I'd obviously have to get another partner once me and Faendal part ways, but it's quite fun travelling about and getting paid for helping people. For the first time in my life I actually feel content and maybe even happy. I hope it stays like this.


End file.
